Controlling Your Feelings... Before They Control You
When was the last time you cried at work? Or didn't know how to respond when one of your colleagues broke down? Did someone lose their temper with you - or did you yell at a co-worker? Do you wish people where you work laughed on the job more - or less? Or didn't annoy you all the time? Or showed a little tact and sensitivity? Or didn't go to such ridiculous lengths to avoid telling it like it is?
We've all been in one of 'those' situations before. You know... when your favorite project is cancelled after weeks of hard work; when a customer snaps at you unfairly; when your best friend (and co-worker) is laid off suddenly; or your boss assigns you more work when you're already overloaded.
In your personal life, your reaction to stressful situations like these might be to start shouting, or to hide in a corner and feel sorry for yourself for a while. But at work, these types of behavior could seriously harm your professional reputation, as well as your productivity.
Become better at handling your emotions;
'choosing' your reactions to bad situations.
The goal is not to never have any negative emotions though. That's not possible. The goal is to recognize them faster and move through them quicker.
- First, recognize you've got something to do with it. Emotions are an attempt to express what we believe outwardly. How you feel is a reflection of how you think. Your negative thoughts produce negative emotions. Your positive thoughts produce positive emotions. So, emotion is not something that happens to you. Emotion is actually something you are doing. If you experience an emotion then you've got something to do with it. Be curious about thoughts that precede emotion.
- Second, every emotion you have is a result of some thought that preceded your emotion. How you feel affects how you behave. And, how you behave produces results.
- Third, accept that any choice to change how you feel will always come after the fact. That's because you can't control your initial reaction to anything! Your habits are too powerful. But you can control your second thought and in that is your saving grace.
- Fourth, identify your desired behavioral goals. Behavior is motivated by conscious and unconscious desires.
- Fifth, Identify the relationship between your present behavior and your desired goals. The way you behave when you are upset is often counterproductive to your goals.
- Sixth, accepting responsibility for your behavior. Creative behavior results from acceptance of responsibility for emotions, thoughts and behavior. Effective self-management results from an ability to chose more appropriate behavior in response to conflict situations and to put your choices into action - every day!
The most common negative emotions experienced in the workplace are Frustration, irritation, worry, nervousness, anger, aggravation, dislike, disappointment, unhappiness.
You need a subliminal smart bomb of a message. Your 30-second message is a hook; its sole purpose is to provoke a call to action. When done correctly, it makes people want to do something ask for your card, question you more closely, call you up.
The Verbal Business Card
Most people are familiar with a standard, business card and use it regularly in their job search and at networking events. However, if you haven’t heard of a verbal business card, you have missed out on 50% of your networking effectiveness. You need to create a verbal sound-bite!
As a professional you need to differentiate yourself from the competition, by being: more prepared, more polished and more succinct.
We exchange thousands of business cards, yet we use our verbal business card 22 more times than our paper card. How much blood, sweat, and tears went into designing that paper card? How much time have you spent designing what you say to people in the first 30 seconds, which has an infinitely greater selling power? If you lose someone's attention in those first few seconds, it takes three times as long to get it back.
That's why you need a subliminal smart bomb of a message. Your information needs to contain an emotional trigger that will go under the intellectual radar of your listener. If your message contains emotion, it will trigger a different part of the brain, the limbic system, create a different type of memory, and stay there longer. That's how you stay top-of-mind in your prospective listener. Emotion sells.
Your 30-second message is a hook, not a description it's about the results you can produce for them. Its sole purpose is to provoke a call to action. When done correctly, it makes people want to do something ask for your card, question you more closely, call you up.
Keep hooking your listeners with headlines about your business such as a brief testimonial, a range of your results, or a one sentence success story. Above all, make sure your message is not about you but about the results you can produce for them.
Use simple language and avoid buzzwords such as "synergy” and "uniquely positioned." Everyone has heard just how "customer-focused" everyone else is before. Remember, this is not just a verbal pitch, it's a first impression and being authentic and human is as helpful to your cause as getting across your professional message.
Get in Touch
Schedule of Open sessions;
Personal Branding and Image Management Open Session - June 1st, At Luther Plaza, 8:30am 5:00pm, Ksh. 8,900 pp
Corporate Personal Branding and Image Management - June 6th and 7th, At Nairobi Club, 8:30am 5:00pm, Ksh. 26,800 pp
Are you looking for a Corporate Emcee for your function?
Get in touch and let us make it a success
Is your company planning a training event, a sales retreat, or team building?
Find out how Public Image can help at http://www.publicimageafrica.com or contact info@publicimageafrica. Join our Face Book page at Public Image
In this month's newsletter we focus on negative emotions at the work place and how to form, how to use your verbal business card and the rules of twitter. As always I hope you find these tips useful and continue to let us know your thoughts.
With best regards,
ABOUT PUBLIC IMAGE
Public Image has a unique approach to building individual and corporate achievement. Business etiquette, creating a positive image though posture and dress, soft skills, communication proficiency, personal branding and networking expertise are key elements in the Public Image approach to developing professional skills.
Projecting a positive image for business will give you an edge in today's competitive market
Your business etiquette questions answered
Q: I'm about to be offered a new job, whats the best approach to discussing salary?
A:The HR person will probably have some sense of what you're making so inflate by no more than 10%. Also know your leverage points how big a catch are you, are you currently employed etc.
Q: My boss emails me all night from his BlackBerry, am I expected to answer?
A:Some bosses are on a power trip knowing that whenever they send you a late night message it's like pulling the strings on a puppet at any time but try to look at it from his point of view, he may be stuck in meetings all day and night time is his only time to catch up. However don't get sucked into late night emails by giving yourself a cut off time e.g. 9pm unless it's an emergency
The Rules of Twitter
Don't just lurk - Start getting active on Twitter and engage with people.
Short and sweet - Try to keep your tweets that way be clear and concise.
Watch what you tweet - Everyone can see what you tweet, including your boss, work colleagues, family and friends.
Don't go overboard - If you're tweeting all the time, people will get turned off and stop following you.
Accept the good, the bad and the ugly - Twitter is a public social network, so it's inevitable that people will say whatever they like, whenever they like.
Spring cleaning can be good - Every now and again, go through the people you follow and review whether they are useful or interesting to you
Don't be selfish - Tweeting constantly about yourself and your business is just going to alienate your followers.
Keep certain things private - DMs or direct messages are perfect to retain a little discretion on Twitter.
Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you craft your verbal card.
- Keep it short
- Have a hook.
- Don't overwhelm with technical or statistical terminology.
- Test it out aloud.
Once you have a solid verbal card develop a 30-second elevator pitch, develop both a long version (at around 2 minutes, for instances where you have time for a more in-depth discussion – something that can be expanded upon should you, say, meet a potential investor on a long airplane ride), and a short version (15 seconds or so, for times you have to introduce yourself to more than one individual at once).
We have recently worked with
KEWOPA (Kenya Women Parliamentary Association)
Dolphins Training and Consultants
Feedback from recent training
“Derek, thanks to you Casual Friday was scrapped off from Rusinga! Nice one!” Sally, P.A. Head Teacher
“Enlightening session with @derekbbanga in Mombasa on building a powerful brand” #KEWOPA Workshop, Hon Gladys Wanga
Lesson learnt today “My personal brand is my legacy. Representing Me Inc. to my best” Thank you @derekbbanga Eunice kinyanjui @kuigeorge